Why I Don't Play Golf

My mother came across a golf pro yesterday. For her, this is a byproduct of living in a "golf community". I utilized the quotations because what I really mean is she lives amongst small minded white men that play with dimpled little balls. This shit-tard commented on the Obama sticker she displays in her car window. He said, "How is that change working out for ya?".

For starters, anyone that quotes Sara Palin is clearly a patient of Dr. Freeman's and worthy of a drunk Scot using their knee cap as an ash tray and their back hair as toilet paper. Conservatards don't get to ask that. Thus, I offer the following parable:

A house is on fire. It belongs to the town's mayor. He likes to smoke cigars in bed while he surfs the net and masturbates to Asian child porn. He leaves the house.

The mayor and a towns-person are outside of the house and both try to figure out how to stop it. The mayor suggested they let the wind take care of it, since he uses his breath to put out candles.

Please note that the mayor had stopped funding the fire department because he thought the government should not be getting involved in such matters. Furthermore, he said the science is still out on the relationship between fire and water.

The towns person sees a hose nearby and grabs it. He turns it on and starts spraying the house with the water it produces. The mayor tells him he is wasting his time and that he is only going to make matters worse. He says, "Let the damn wind take care of it!"
The towns person insists that "this is better than nothing."

After a few minutes the towns person was able to get a corner of the house under control, however the mayor was still mocking him. He even asked "Hows that hose working out for ya?"