Monday, December 29, 2008

The Dismantling of the US? Nyet!!!!

Just when you thought it was safe to be optimistic.. A Russian professor is predicting the US will dissolve itself within the next two years surrendering to the weight of mass immigration and an "economic and moral collapse." He also predicts the US dollar will soon be worthless and the country is on the brink of it's second civil war. In this scenario, California will become the center of the California Republic, mostly under the influence or control of the Chinese. Texas will form the center of the Texas Republic which will largely under the influence or control of Mexico. The New York/Washington D.C. area will form the nucleus of Atlantic America (Yanks and Sox fans living together?), which could eventually join the EU. Canada is expected to annex the Central North American Republic and Alaska will fall under the rule of Mother Russia (much to Joe Six-Pack's dismay). Japan also gets the last laugh by taking over Hawaii. This guy is for real and he is getting handjobs galore at the Kremlin which has been drumming up this type of anti-American crap to levels not seen since the Miracle on Ice. What's scary is more and more people are taking this guy seriously. I see some major flaws in this guy's thinking, most notably that we will endure a second civil war. Americans have become too complacent and lazy to mount any sort of real offensive that takes them, say, outside of their front yard. Boris also neglects to address the fact that this new Divided States of WhatUsedToBeAmerica would, by definition, destroy the NFL, and there's no way we'd allow that to happen. I know times are tough. But America is still the leader of the free world. If the US could survive the Bush Administration, we withstand this guy's doomsday prophecy. The one argument he makes that I do kinda agree with is that Obama is not a miracle worker. For the US to truly rise to greatness again, we need to start making changes in our own lives for the betterment of the masses (even the asshole down the street with a Bush/Cheney '04 bumper sticker). Obama cannot create miracles, but he can inspire people to do that which they would not ordinarily do. Hope is much harder to create than fear, and far more powerful.

Sunday, December 28, 2008


Doing little to stop people from thinking they are a bunch of uptight racists. The ultimate stocking stuffer is a severed foot (R.I.P. Mitch), not a politically charged holiday cd. (But really, with a name like Chip Saltsman, aren't your options limited?)
updated: sounds like something Karl Rove wrote while taking a shit.

Maryland Teen Doing More For Darfur Than US Government

The struggle in Darfur is so depressing, most people simply don't discuss it. It briefly penetrates the collective conscience of Americans in bumper stickers and shamelessly in a Jonas Brothers photo op (as if hordes of screaming pre-pubescent girls can stop genocide). Then it is replaced by some other distraction. Maybe a sports event or game show. But not for 17 year old Spencer Brodsky, who read the tragic stories about women being raped and murdered while leaving their makeshift homes to gather firewood (yes, it gets cold there too). Seeing as wood is not plentiful in the desert, he decided to raise money for fuel efficient stoves to be shipped to Darfur, enabling these women to remain in their homes for far greater periods of time. To the average American, this may seem like a miniscule effort, but most Americans don't fear leaving the house because they might very well be killed or at least attacked. It just goes to show that creative thinking can in some way protect these women from thousands of miles away.

Saturday, December 27, 2008


Please be courteous to other movie goers by keeping quiet during the film. Or this might happen.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Muhammad's Filter

Somewhere the word of Allah got derailed and perverted into a method of mental torture and control. I don't believe the Qu'uran actually says that educating females is against Islamic teachings and spreads vulgarity in society, but I sure as shit am not gonna tell that to the Taliban. Those fuckers are CRAZY!!! (I also surmise that the prophet Muhammad never would condone the countless documented occurances of gang rape and murder of girls under the age of 17). Now the Taliban is broadcasting from mosques across Afghanistan that if girls schools are not shut down nationwide, they are to be targeted for destruction (and anyone in the way will be disposed of). The poor women of Afghanistan have no voice that is heard by politicians foreign or domestic. Keeping them uneducated is a deliberate tactic to keep them submissive and without hope. These people need to be stopped.

Happy Boxing Day!

Since Dick Cheney cancelled xmas and dissecting the Bush pardons started getting the blood pressure up (some guy served 37 years for conspiring to buy marijuana.. must've been some shipment), I decided to give a nod to the underappreciated (certainly by Sal) sport of hockey. Enjoy John Tavares of Team Canada at the World Juniors Tournament!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

As the Taliban Turns

On September 12th, 2001 I had a strong suspicion that the US military was going to take out the Taliban in Afghanistan and smoke out Osama bin Laden who was the catalyst for the 9/11 attacks. Well, we kinda sorta took out the Taliban for a while and installed Hamid Karzai (Sarah Palin's BFF as a certain photo op would lead you to believe) as a figurehead for the new government we could create the illusion of controlling. After we outsourced bin Laden's capture at Tora Bora (a miserable failure), we turned the bulk of our attention to the real enemy (?) Saddam Hussein. Even with Hussein caught and executed, we are spending most of our time and money in Iraq, for obvious reasons. Well, fret not, true patriotic Americans (barf). We're going back in! Well not, really. We're just spending money to fund miltants who don't like the Taliban (because they fuck with their heroin and marijuana trafficking). Unfortunately, about 75% of Afghanistan, especially the rugged and remote parts of the country, are subject to the Taliban and their brutal interpretation of Shariah Law. A hot topic at home now as well with AIG under the bailout microscope for promoting Shariah Law as an incentive for policy holders. While you may have missed some of the recent highlights the Taliban has carried out, like paying people to throw acid on young women who have the audacity to attend school in Kabul or attacking NATO supply convoys, the fact remains, they are an entity we absolutely must contend with. At some point, at least. As always, please take the time to visit for the straight poop on how good dogs and livestock have it in Afghanistan. And stay tuned. The bullshit machine is just getting warm and W still has a few more weeks to screw things up even more.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Hey! No Fair!

So now the Bush Administration is in a tiff because the New York Times is trying to assign a chunk of the blame for the current economic clusterfuck on his administration. No "gotcha media" or "liberal slant" can unravel time to place the blame for this anywhere else, but at his doorstep. Sorry. The cupboard was stocked better than any incumbent had ever welcomed it (of course, it was reserved for Al Gore, but I refuse to go there). Now, even the cupboard is gone (and the Saudis can't bail out the whole country, right?). Jumping into an ill-advised "War of Choice" that cost hundreds of billions and thousands of lives, hasn't helped things. People blame you for everything that goes wrong with their lives anyway, Georgie! Suck it up and take this one on the chin too. You've earned it.

VP pissing match

Darth Cheney mentions in a back and forth between he and VP elect Biden that the President doesn't require any permission to "launch the kind of devastating attack the world has never seen."

Just in time for the holidays! He also defends the actions of Donald Rumsfeld by calling him the greatest puppet politician whose ass he's ever shoved his wrinkled paw into. Cheney is a unique creature who never saw an indictment that made him scared or a rainbow that made him happy. Especially the one on his daughter's bumper sticker. I'm guessing if he is ever truly brought up on charges that stick, he'll take one of those CIA pills Kenneth Lay got just before he went into the pokey. From one Dick to another, I'd say we're gonna miss you, but I'm afraid of getting shot in the face.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Hasta la vista, baby!

While Al Franken, still fighting his political battle in Minnesota (where even this guy can elected) finds himself ahead by roughly 100 votes based on the latest tally, I was reminded of why it can be dumb to elect people based on popularity when looking at the economic debacle in California. And all it took for him to get to where he is was bullshit like this..

Thursday, December 18, 2008


This man has none.

To go out quietly would be too much to ask. There is so much in this brief interview that makes my blood boil, I don't know where to start.

Select your favorite excerpt for yourself and remember just why we loathed this douchebag so.

Friday, December 12, 2008

We're taking five....

...We will be back sometime between now and then, no later than Jan 6, 2009. See ye then:

PS- If you can think of a more deserving Turd of the Year than the entire Palin family, please share your thoughts with us here.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Don't ruin Christmas, lefty...

A Washington based artist will have an ornament hanging from the White House Christmas tree. Artist Deborah Lawrence used this as an opportune moment to point out that Bush is a criminal that should have been impeached and imprisoned long ago. This point is further exemplified by the fact that the ball will still hang from the true, showing again how inept this administration is, right down to the Jesus sapling!

The worst part is Ms. Lawrence's actions have made some people sad:

Sally McDonough, the first lady's press secretary, said yesterday that hundreds
of ornaments were submitted for display and there were no plans to pull
Lawrence's artwork or her invitation. But, she said, "it really is too bad. I
haven't seen the ornament, but I would hope that no one would take this as an
opportunity to be divisive and partisan. There is a time and place for
everything, and I don't think this is either."