Saturday, December 26, 2009

Turd or Not a Turd? Episode I: Peter Drucker

Welcome to the first edition of TONAT! Today we will discuss the man that wants 100 people to work, Peter Drucker. Please, tell us, turd or not a turd! If you don't like this game, do as Peter would tell you to, and go get a job at Starbucks...

Thursday, December 24, 2009

SENATE PASSES HEALTH BILL!!!!! Schwartz Family Happy!!!!

The Schwartz family of Brookline, MA (pictured above) is the family that will benefit from the U.S. Senate's landmark health care bill. After the bill passed, Sen. Harry Reid (NV) announced that one lucky family will win a free year of Blue Cross Health Insurance HMO! They put the names of over 20 million family's into a jar and picked the lucky winners! Ester Schwartz, when asked about her view on the situation, responded as follows: "I don't have time to answer your question. I have been on hold for 2 hours already trying to get an answer from Blue Cross about which doctor I can see. They keep playing the same three Yanni songs and I hate it! I was better off going to the emergency room when I got a cold!"

President Obama was overheard saying, "Some folks are never satisfied." He then promised that change was on the way!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

very fucking merry

merry christmas folks! i sincerely hope that yours is the merriest of merries.

i'm off to florida to spend christmas with the fam...

see ya next week.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Monday, December 21, 2009

Health Care Reform, 2009: It's like:

- Giving Advil to someone with a brain tumor.
- Giving a penny to a homeless person.
- Taking one less bite out of a Twinkie.
- The band from the Free Credit Report Dot Com commercials.

Please, share your own with us.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

watch the powerless wrythe in their own futility...

C-SPAN2 live feed... so much fun watching redneck republican senators get this bill rammed down their throats. beautiful.

update: tom coburn just said we should tax sunlight. this is amazing.

Saturday, December 19, 2009


it's probably because i live in los angeles that i don't want to hear about your fucking snow.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Perhaps this is why the Dayman is the fighter of the Nightman?!?

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

bill o'reilly and ann coulter can't think

if your complaining about what's going down in a place like springfield, illinois... then chances are that this aint as christian of a country as you thought it was.
awesomely retarded to cite american tradition, government, and religion and then refer to supreme court rulings as ridiculous.
and i love how much menorahs piss off these mayonnaise eaters.
more important than freedom of religion? freedom of thought.
eat a bag of cocks, coulter.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

2005 real estate commercial or thinly veiled misogyny?

this couple, and their kids, now live in the back seat of a 1997 honda accord.
ironically, the wife wanted the mini-van.

for sunshine...

i'll have you know that i had to go to something called to do this...

i feel dirty.

very, very dirty.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Joe is a Shithead. Look here for proof II:

youtube mashup: LIEBERMAN

so... two weeks ago i started searching youtube for somewhat controversial terms... capitalism, socialism, climategate... and i was able to pick out a few independent video-bloggers that i thought captured a realistic, reactionary, somewhat hysterical perspective that may not be evident in the mainstream media.
this excersize has become somewhat of an obsession for me.
at the risk of dedicating this blog solely to the likes of that sewer rat joe lieberman... today's search term: LIEBERMAN.

ok... i usually try to summarize these things... this video needs no such summary. it does; however, require commentary:

dear ndsman64,

sir, you are doing god's work... but for the sake of artistic expression, lay off the obama speaches. be yourself. let some of your own oratory style come through in the presentation. you don't have to be perfect to get an important point across.

try not to overdo it with the editorial content. while insightful, your opinions may outshine the topic. it's hard for the little tree to grow in the shadow of the big tree.

and tell your wife the patriots suck.

friend til the end,

Joe Lieberman's Eyes & Balls Being Pan Fried in Hell... or: four-egg breakfast. F-

some sanity from insane films. i don't think there is a better way to summarize the healthcare legislation issue at this point. A+

Monday, December 14, 2009

Joe is a Shithead. Look here for proof:

beat on the brat

i love this headline from the huff post: 81% of Dems Want Lieberman Punished For Health Care Filibuster.
apparently the majority of democrats out there do not feel that photoshopping testicles onto the man's chin is sufficiently punitive action.
hey, at least we tried.
what would you do to the filthy bastard?

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Your feet won't smell in Glenn Beck's belly

Look who's farting

joe lieberman has balls on his chin

ok... let's get the obvious questions out of the way...
1) yes, i do have better things to do
2) no, they're not mine (mine are bigger)
outside of that... i think the image speaks for itself
lieberman has conducted himself in a manner that warrants balls being photoshopped onto his chin.
how did this idea arrive?
it came in a vision... a man appeared on a flaming pie and said, "from this day forward, joe lieberman shall have balls upon his chin."

fortunately, the congressional healthcare plan covers the removal of these types of growths.

Friday, December 11, 2009

a fascist theocracy...

how badly do you want to punch john lofton in the face? give frank some props for keeping his shit together.

in the immortal words of steve vai:

Fuck yourself with a rubber hose
Stick it in your mouth and down your throat
Up your nose and in your heinie hole
I don't care where it goes
And it don't matter if you're straight or gay
You should fuck yourself anyway
Now, you don't have to listen to a word I say
But I know you, you'll be humpin' away
Fuck yourself with your neighbor's nose
If you can't use that, use a 10-foot pole
Stick it up your ass and go for a stroll
Everyone will know you've been to this show

If you can't take, eat my stool
Masturbate with some crazy glue
I don't care what you do
Fock yourself with a garden tool
Fuck yourself with politics
Ahh they're full of fuckin' fuckin' shit
I mean you know we've been lied to ever since we were born
It's amazing that we've been getting fucked that
Fuck yourself with the world wide web
Man you could ride that sucker right from your bed
You may even meet a Tom, Dick, Jane or Billy
Then grab onto your modem and fuck yourself silly

Fuck yourself with your heart and soul
Give it everything you got, hey I'm talkin' to you
If you can't even fuck yourself,
How ya gonna fuck somebody else?
Fuck yourself with my microphone
I'll give it to you later when we're all alone
We can turn it up loud
And see if you come, but
Don't get your jizz on my microphone
Fuck yourself with organized religion
Now that is some seriously sinnin' business
If the Lord sees their pathetic crimes
He'll be fuckin' them 'til the end of time

And can someone explain to me this racist crap
I know it isn't white, but it isn't black
And to all you people who only see things your way
Well, you can suck my dick and take all day
Fuck your nose with a pound of blow
Watch your money get up and go
but when you burnt your brain and you say
I don't know!
I hate to tell you but I told you so
Fuck yourself with this grunge rock noise
I mean, stuff those albums in your groin
They come down on me because I know how to play -
Hey... fuck you!
Fuck yourself with a copy of Rolling Stone
Or are they too holy for your holiest of holes
Now those people think they're holier than Moses
But aren't they just a bunch of fuckin' posers
Fuck yourself with your mother's jewelry
I won't tell, I ain't a stooly
If you pounce hard enough you'll cough up a ruby
Your blood will be rich and so will your doodie
Fuck yourself with the latest fashion
With your spikes and your hair and those cute
little buttons
And if you happen to have some leather and lace
Fuck yourself 'til you're blue in the face
Fuck yourself with your income tax
They're fucking you and that's a fact
Before you know it your money's all spent
And you've just been fucked by the government
Fuck yourself with your lawyer friend
You're the only one that's getting fucked in the end
I have been so fucked by legal bills
that my asshole is the size of Beverly Hills
Fuck yourself with your full-length sweater
With your minks and your diamonds and your Irish Setter
With your cash and your trash and your sinks and your drinks
Just fuck yourself 'til you can't even think

Those of you who enjoy this song
thank you thank you, I love you
Let's get it on
But for those of you who are totally outraged
Fuck yourself with your face

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Its time to say it out loud,

Rep. Grayson rules. Just like Tim "I will cry but you will burn in an eternal fire if your belief set does not coincide with mine" Tebow is a giant turd that Ray Lewis is going to shatter into a billion Jesus pieces, so too is Rep. Grayson a good dude (or as they would say in Worcester, MA: A wicked good dude). Like Tebow and his orange and blue toilet paper, Dick Cheney and his Glenn Beck Mini-me need to shut the fuck up, and so do their "Earth is 6,000 years old, Go Gators" followers.

Happy Zappadan, Bart

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

youtube mashup: SOCIALISM

today's search term: socialism. these guys mean business... the first guy has a sword and he's not afraid to pose with it.

socialism, communism, cold war, governemnt multitasking (pose) acorn funding (pose) socialism (pose) medicare and medicaid (pose) the VA (pose) welfare (pose) communism (pose) and all the older people refused healthcare in socialist (stammer) or communist healthcare systems

obama's destroying america and turning it into this socialist "thing." stalin started the, ya know, war. obama's gonna take away our goods. our <harbl> healthcare. he's gonna just be like, "me, me, me, me, me." every other country uses the N-word. we don't because somebody's gonna go cry. he's tired of being called a racist. hates obama because of obama's "moral rights", everything he agrees with, and he's turning america into a socialissssst country and government. it's, ya know, uuuuuuurrrr.

and i leave you with this brief musical interlude...

so... this is what your up against. a sword, some crappy visual effects, and stalin. good luck.

Norah Jones does Wilco's Jesus Etc.


Monday, December 7, 2009

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


If you put these 3 things together you end up with something.




Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Obama decides to not be JFK...Instead becomes LBJ!!!

30,000 more troops!!!!

an illiterate youtube mash-up: CLIMATEGATE!!!

lately i've taken to searching youtube for random and somewhat controversial topics. last week i found a video of Adam Kokesh sexually molesting your intelligence and a few palin book signing atrocities. today I searched the term "climategate."

uhm.......... enjoy!

my man comes clean. swine flu isn't blowing his skirt up. it isn't the great luciferian sacrifice he had anticipated. he mentions the affect of the "alternative media" blowing it out of proportion whereas the mainstream media knew to steer clear. also, climategate doesn't matter. no congressional investigation will take place to battle al gore's taxation conspiracy. his evil plan to rob this world of its money will carry on as planned. the usa has already collapsed. finally, christmas is going to suck.

the media isn't covering climategate because john holdren, previously of the "sterilize americans against their will" campaign, is part of the scandal. the medieval warm period completely disproves global warming. your taxes will increase by 40%. that'll turn your $50 electric bill into a $100 electric bill. your air conditioner will be taxed. maurice strong, the luciferian environmental savior of the earth, embraces the apocalypse. the fascists in italy and germany came into power because they said their ballot box democracies cannot make trains run on time. the science for carbon-emissions is totally debunked. china sells organs of the living to other countries. their whole agenda is to set up a world government under the style of mao. many of you will be rounded up and exterminated...

ok... this guy isn't nearly as reactionary... but i really like his hair.

isn't it interesting how these goony bastards are just as absolute in their assessments as their counterparts have been?

Monday, November 30, 2009

tiger woods ya'll, it's all good ya'll

oh, Tiger... where to start. we are just so disapointed in you. how could you do this to us? how many years have we watched you? we're all so completed invested in your story. can we count all the ways in which you satisfy our collective value system?

but not too ethnic.
but not too ethnic.
smart enough not to attempt a career in rap.

dirty, cheating, shirt-tucking whore.

we got what we came for. carry on.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The Sarah Palin of Sports: Tim "the Turd" Tebow

Mort Zuckerman--Move to an Israeli Settlement Already

I am a Jew, but I am searching for a new faith, because I don't want to share any association with this turd. I was in D.C. yesterday and tracked down Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh of India and asked him if I could become a Hindu. He told me his faith does not take converts. I then sought out a pigon and asked if I could become one them. The bird said to me, "why would we want to allow someone that is part of the same species as that turd Mort into our fold?"

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

for those about to puke we salute you

Adam Kokesh speaks at End the Fed Rally in Houston TX

The most dangerous word in the world today is Capitalism. The establishment hates this word because this word represents an idea. This idea means freedom, equality under the law, and prosperity for a society that respects and protects the rights of every human being regardless of wealth, age, gender, color, race, or creed, and holds all forms of coercive force morally reprehensible. - Adam Kokesh

if, by chance, you don't know who this complete fucking moron is, he is running for congress.

good luck new mexico.

if you find this information depressing - just do what I do: envision kicking this piece of shit in the balls about a dozen times.

see? instant smile.


since palin is the ongoing focal point of the geek show i decided to see what the common man is saying through the electronic conveyance that is youtube...

crowd turns on sarah after she buckles under the tremendous pressure of book signing... and quits (sounds like her tenure as governor) SIGN OUR BOOKS!!!

short boring clip of people standing on a street corner with prolife palin signs. looks cold and wet.

short boring clip of palin signing books... climactic moment when man helps sarah spell "Allison."

and finally, sarah palin vs. darth oprah.

Monday, November 23, 2009

the illustrated conservative...

WMxdesign is at it again with this delightful portrayal of Saintly Sarah. This is incredibly relevant given the current fallout from Newsweek's use of Palin shamelessly parading her "running" outfit (complete with sultry pantyhose). Carville is clearly smitten by the GOP-String Diva, but we're all aware of Jim's passion for red-meat. Given Sarah's obsession with manipulating the media, I wonder when her sex-tape hits the tubes?

Friday, October 23, 2009

Cartographer Day a Bust!!!

a truly awful turnout for a poorly planned and entirely fictional holiday. sal, my fellow blogger, you are an ass. and a domestic ass at that.

in the wake of this mess i propose "H1N1 vaccination day." also known as "standing on line day." also known as "the wizard of oz was a fake day" and "have fun storming the castle day."

oh look... my post-related picture is both a pig AND a map. how relevant. how timeless and incredibly relevant. i am delightful and fantastic.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

What will you do for Cartographer day?

A hug? A kiss? A free map? It is almost here! REJOICE!!!!!

Friday, October 16, 2009


sorry to step on your post, rob... but this needed to be said...

Thursday, October 15, 2009

An outsider's view from inside the National Equality March

There have been a great many things said about Sunday's National Equality March in Washington, DC, calling into question the actual attendance numbers and the significance such an event can have. From the ground view, for a middle-class straight white man there to support his friends within the LGBT community, there was an energy and passion among attendees from around the nation that was undeniable. And, for the workshops and training sessions on organizing and activism alone, the event can only be seen as worthwhile and a great achievement.

I now live in the DC area (after a decade in Los Angeles), and the ability to go to events like this has already become something that's easily taken for granted. But, when three friends from Boston - Olivia - and LA - Lise and Tricia - asked for a place to stay so they could come to DC and take part in the march, I was given the great gift of an opportunity to contribute in a very personal way.

All three arrived Saturday morning after red-eye flights and bus-trips and we soon got moving to one of the two events we planned to take part in for the weekend. Heading downtown, we ended up at Union Station where we picked up a quick brunch and kept our eyes peeled for anyone who might be taking part in a flash mob that was supposed to take place (but that we were getting no details on from the website or the associated text number...)

Unsure of where to go or what to do, we milled around the station until one of us noted (Me? Lise?) there was a very large number of presumably gay and lesbian young adults present. We quickly figured out it was a go and took part in a public piece of performance art meant to show, "This is What Equality Looks Like". In one second we were in position, and in the next with a high-pitched "whoop" from one of the organizers it started and a flag stating the flash mob's theme unfurled. I went down on one knee as if proposing to Tricia, while Olivia did the same with Lise. Gay couples held hands, or embraced in silence, and the entire station went quiet as some took part and others puzzled over what was going on. And then it was over, but not without a lot of cheering, photos of the demonstrators and networking and discussion afterward.

Despite many workshops to be held throughout the weekend - with many of which appearing to be filled online - this was our one-and-only event for Saturday, so we spent the afternoon seeing DC - tourist sites, Dupont Circle, Pho 14 and Fab Lounge (a lesbian bar) - and talking about the politics of the event itself. As an outsider looking in, I learned there were many issues I didn't know I didn't know. And, these ideas would be echoed throughout the weekend.

Most notable to me, everyone was aware of and had opinions on the Human Rights Campaign's dinner with a keynote speech from President Obama, with said speech sounding less like "change" and a lot like "more of the same." I know the HRC is seen as the leading advocacy group for gay rights in the United States, but I didn't realize they more-or-less avoided taking part in the organization of the March. What's more, the group seems to have become synonymous with affluent gay white men as noted by a Democratic activist I met several years ago in LA, Vincent Jones, as he livetweeted the HRC's dinner: "I wonder how many LGBT folks know most ppl @ Stonewall riots were trans, poor, & people of color, very different than ppl @ #hrcannualdinner."

With that in mind, there are issues of race and gender within the LGBT community, as in any other community, and with such a homogeneous face representing the community at the establisment's table many issues facing women, minorities or transgendered individuals often go overlooked, for instance one I'd never pondered that Lise pointed out. If there is a pay gap between men and women, then lesbians are twice-disadvantaged by this pay disparity. Where a gay male couple will have two men making the standard, a lesbian couple will have two people making less than the standard wage for their work, adversely effecting many lesbians financially.

And so, despite the HRC's reluctance to embrace the march, and the House of Representative's most prominent gay member, Barney Frank (D-MA) more-or-less ridiculing it on Saturday, it was encouraging to see diversity both on the stage and in the crowd of Sunday's march. Men and women, black, brown, white, Asian and everything in between. Gay, lesbian, straight, transgendered and bi, it was an event that embraced the message of the day: Equality.

Though we rushed to get to the heart of the march - having arrived a little late - we caught up with the marchers on Pennsylvania Ave. Following the march route from the White House to the Capitol, despite the low estimates of attendance noted in the press, protesters stretched as a solid mass for block upon block. With various groups in the crowd expressing their solidarity with the LGBT community, from the Socialist Workers and ANSWER to immigration activists, everyone stayed remarkably on message.

It was youth that brought energy to the crowd with chants, both resolute and forceful. But, just as inspiring was the man who carried a poster listing the years - going back several decades - he had marched on Washington for equal rights, or two older women - easily in their 70s - walking hand-in-hand along the route. Still another older man pushed his walker along, determined to march, with the help of two younger men on either side.

Along the route, other demonstrators who didn't march stood and showed their support. A group of protesters in pink tutus caught the eye, but it was an interracial couple, black wife and white husband, that grabbed the attention of all of us with their hand-written sign, "Our marriage was once illegal, too!"

As we approached the Capitol the sheer number of protesters became apparent as the main area of the Capitol lawn had filled with more than half of the march left to arrive. We, like many others went to the side lawn to hear the speeches, taking opportunities throughout the afternoon to venture into the crowd and take photos.

Despite the dismissive attitude of the HRC and Frank, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered politicians and activists from around the country spoke on the dais, side-by-side with union representatives, celebrities like Cynthia Nixon of Sex and the City, and civil rights activist Julian Bond. In doing so, this coalition showed solidarity in holding President Obama to his word to the LGBT community on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, gay marriage and many other forgotten promises.

While many in the audience gushed over Lady Gaga, Bond’s presence as chairman of the NAACP and a founder of the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee reminded all that equal rights and justice are more rarely granted by government than fought for and won by organized action. But, it was a speech by Aiyi’nah Ford early in the day that for me, despite some needed polish, recalled the passion and determination of activists of the Civil Rights Movement.

For me, despite the criticisms I've heard, the events brought a wide array of individuals, old and young, of many colors, religions and orientations in common cause. Being with my friends, holding their hands, supporting them, marching with them on a beautiful day while banging on the doors of those in power, it was possible to see a near-future where we all share equality that goes beyond words and dreams.

Thanks to Tricia for the photos from the event (though to be fair I took some of them, but using her camera...)

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

best. thing. ever.

now, i personally feel that shane reached a suitable level of funny with that video. if you disagree, please watch the following "autotuned" version. enjoy.

R.I.P Captain Lou Albano

This is a sad day for thirty-somethings as a childhood icon shuffles off this mortal coil.

Rock the vote.

Monday, October 12, 2009

big fucking surprise: insurance companies don't want health reform...

how does this even deserve media attention other than to report that the insurance companies will act predictably by doing anything and everything in their power to retain their power?

now, "democrats fire back"... WELL, FIRE BACK LOUDER FUCKERS. you dropped the ball. the shear momentum of healthcare reform should have been enough to obliterate this sort of nonsense, had the senate dems not bickered their balls off for months on end.

good luck dodging the swift boat now you pussies.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Eat A Medal General McChrystal: Obama Wins Noble Peace Prize

President Obama--Nobel Laureate. Clearly a man worthy of such an honor can't add a billion new troops in Afghanistan, like the Good General would like, right???

While you ponder this question, allow me to say a quick "happy birthday" to our dearly departed friend John Lennon. I am certain he would be proud of our imminent troop withdrawal from Central Asia. On behalf of Mr. Lennon, allow me to send a "mazel tov" to the President of the United States of America!!! Enjoy:

Monday, October 5, 2009

why heal when you can kill instead?

"It's also enraging that those who insist on offsetting every penny spent to expand health coverage would never ask the Congressional Budget Office to score the costs of McChrystal's strategy. For the uninsured, they propose fiscal prudence. For war, they offer profligacy."

- E.J. Dionne Jr.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

a football bat and a hockey court

james carville is completely insane. he's like a three-way cross between hunter s. thompson, john madden, and gary busey. i like all three of those guys and therefore i like james carville - especially when he's riffing on glenn beck. at approximately 1:40, james goes bananas. enjoy:

Saturday, October 3, 2009


fucking christ we're easily distracted. i mean, isn't there anything else going on in the... oh look, a butterfly...

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Fuck Baucus:

Vote green until we get AT LEAST a public option!

Bye- Bye Dems

5 Democrats in the senate finance committee voted no to the compromise that is the public option today. We are all the worse for it. If this is what Democratic control looks like, I would rather have the Republicans. At least we know where they stand and there is always hope that better Democrats can be born next time. We should not support any Democrat that voted against this bill, and we should vote out all of the leadership in the party.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Friday, September 25, 2009

G20... wtf? is anybody catching this?

The nazi stomping boots thing is pretty creepy but it gets really weird around 8:30... Enjoy!!!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I love technology... (always and forever)

Google Fast Flip. Consider yourself informated...

Look... Google may be a bunch of world-dominating bastards, but those world-dominating bastards make really, really cool toys. And this particular "really cool toy" is the best thing to hit internet news since... well... Google News. If you don't think so, then just keep playing with it. Trust me... it's completely addictive on a level that I don't really feel comfortable with. It will make your fancy parts tingle.

Monday, September 21, 2009

I'll have the "Judy's Salad" please...

I spent 90 minutes or so discussing the current state of the healthcare policy debate with a friend of mine over lunch at Gaby’s Mediterranean on Saturday. That’s no plug… they’re just close to my apartment, I like their food, and generally express myself through hypertext. Anyway, it became an extremely frustrating exercise as I played devil’s advocate to his completely logical and well-intentioned ideas. My argument is that we are facing a situation in which no acceptable healthcare policy will emerge. Whereas Bill Moyers (7:00 mark) feels that we need to push a bill that sacrifices nothing from our most ideal and progressive ideas, I believe such inflexibility would be catastrophic and lead to a conversational roadblock on healthcare policy similar to the fourteen-year lapse from which we just emerged (see Bill Clinton’s first term.) Instead, I see this as an iterative process… a ten-year bridge to acceptable policy (feel free to replace ten with the number of your choice depending on your optimism/pessimism.) We are just not going to do away with the insurance companies this round… and certainly not the pharmaceutical companies either. To fool ourselves into ignoring their power is to be ignorant of the system. As long as congressmen/women are constantly campaigning and candidates are fueled by the same money on both sides, we will not overcome the oppressive corporate framework that controls our government. The two-party system can work – but first, we need two parties.

...just saw this...

Friday, September 18, 2009

Social networking troublemakers...

So... we're now on day three of an ongoing Facebook debate regarding capital punishment. Predictably, we've got a couple lefties against and a couple righties for.

As I was falling asleep last night I think I realized what the misunderstanding is... although I might be wrong... I usually am.

Nevertheless, the issue was originally tweeted, by a friend of mine, as a civic issue: "I love how people that don't trust government can somehow support capital punishment."

To me, this takes the morality-side, which we can all agree exists and is rightfully contentious, out of the issue. But, we can probably also agree that it is an incendiary way to broach the topic...

Still, the righties can't see the civic quagmire of it all. It's like their wearing some sort of lens that filters out the meaning of the argument. They get all, "what if some dude raped your puppy" and "we should just fill a pit with broken glass and acid and toss minorities in cuz lethal injection is too expensive."

Well... they didn't say those things, but you get the point.

At any rate, while I agree that capital punishment poses a moral dilemma, there exists a civic issue as well. We live in a society that has chosen to put the meaning of life above all other values, yet the government reserves the right to terminate it. This gives the government a god-like power... and I agree with my tweeting friend... it's one that doesn't jive with the whole right-wing "I don't trust the government unless it's giving money to my church" thing.

Anyway, there's a poll to the right. Click stuff.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

GOP Clown College


I dig this guy's work... here's a few more:

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

five spiral crash

as usual, george w. bush uttered a term that i am pretty sure has no meaning outside his own head. googling the term "five spiral crash" only returns news excerpts and blog posts related to bush's most recently exploited word-ish thingy. the scary thing is, i get it. eight years and that miserable bastard has mind-fucked me into understanding bushese. problem is, i think he was trying to use a metaphor - referring to some sort of aeronautical disaster to describe the mccain comedy - which troubles me twofold: 1) bush is using fictional terms that he picked up while being a fictional pilot 2) monkeys can't use metaphors.

whatever. the chewbacca defense:

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Obama's "Ted Kennedy" Letter

Barry's letter:

Michelle and I were heartbroken to learn this morning of the death of our dear friend, Senator Ted Kennedy.

For nearly five decades, virtually every major piece of legislation to advance the civil rights, health and economic well-being of the American people bore his name and resulted from his efforts.

His ideas and ideals are stamped on scores of laws and reflected in millions of lives -- in seniors who know new dignity; in families that know new opportunity; in children who know education's promise; and in all who can pursue their dream in an America that is more equal and more just, including me.

In the United States Senate, I can think of no one who engendered greater respect or affection from members of both sides of the aisle. His seriousness of purpose was perpetually matched by humility, warmth and good cheer. He battled passionately on the Senate floor for the causes that he held dear, and yet still maintained warm friendships across party lines. And that's one reason he became not only one of the greatest senators of our time, but one of the most accomplished Americans ever to serve our democracy.

I personally valued his wise counsel in the Senate, where, regardless of the swirl of events, he always had time for a new colleague. I cherished his confidence and momentous support in my race for the Presidency. And even as he waged a valiant struggle with a mortal illness, I've benefited as President from his encouragement and wisdom.

His fight gave us the opportunity we were denied when his brothers John and Robert were taken from us: the blessing of time to say thank you and goodbye. The outpouring of love, gratitude and fond memories to which we've all borne witness is a testament to the way this singular figure in American history touched so many lives.

For America, he was a defender of a dream. For his family, he was a guardian. Our hearts and prayers go out to them today -- to his wonderful wife, Vicki, his children Ted Jr., Patrick and Kara, his grandchildren and his extended family.

Today, our country mourns. We say goodbye to a friend and a true leader who challenged us all to live out our noblest values. And we give thanks for his memory, which inspires us still.


President Barack Obama

Monday, August 24, 2009

Friday, August 14, 2009

happy fucking congratulations

Fromme's out. And I have no doubts about who's behind this.

On an unrelated note to this unrelated-to-anything outburst, I had no idea. OK, whatever... I totally did. Jerry Falwell is in hell shitting a fucking Toyota Tundra right now. I love it. I hope he's taking pineapples up the ass right next to Hitler.

"Sneriously" terrible movie. Great scene though.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Man gets shot....Drivers keep driving.

Check in at about the 2 minute spot:

Surveillance video shows man being shot in Jersey City

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Man Cunt! Man Cunt!

Read all about it!

PS- Anyone want in on our fantasy football league? If so, the yahoo id is: ID# is 220892
Password is: metal

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Never forget.

have a happy independence day

Wednesday, July 1, 2009


Welcome to illiterate Obituaries.

...but seriously folks, that's a lot of dead famous people. It's gonna be a looooooong academy awards this year.

Malden had a nice run at it though, 97 years and all. Can't beat that, right? Hell, I'm lucky if I make it to 50.

Ohhh... right... hmmm, sorry 'bout that Billy Mays.


Seacrest out.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Senator Al Franken

Now that was easy... wasn't it?

Also... ya know, I spent at least 12 seconds looking for a picture of Al Franken as a baggage handler in the movie Trading Places without any luck at all. So I've had to settle for:

...and while I really like the above picture, it is a shameless non-sequitur (except for the vague reference to Al Franken's book Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot which he is, of course... but it's still a bit of a reach).

So, if you are able to find said picture, please drop the link in a comment in this thread and I will post it and give you credit for being able to navigate Google Images in a way that so obviously eludes me.


Monday, June 29, 2009


Open your wallets, because you know you need it: the new Apple iPhone 3G S.

Just drop that "old" iPhone in the garbage... you SO need video capability in your cellphone AND Apple's brand new feature: this iPhone apparently bursts into a ball of flame when used. Enjoy!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Billy Mays: DEAD!

WTF? How is this guy even famous enough to die in the same week as MJ? Is this some kind of sick publicity stunt?

My guess... probably not.

I realize that I am an insensitive asshole... I really do. But it's the children who suffer when this sort of thing happens.

Forgive me... I'm still trying to make sense of all this. I need to buy something... if only there was someone around to scream in my face about products I have no interest in...


I think this speaks for itself...