Mort Zuckerman--Move to an Israeli Settlement Already

I am a Jew, but I am searching for a new faith, because I don't want to share any association with this turd. I was in D.C. yesterday and tracked down Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh of India and asked him if I could become a Hindu. He told me his faith does not take converts. I then sought out a pigon and asked if I could become one them. The bird said to me, "why would we want to allow someone that is part of the same species as that turd Mort into our fold?"