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continental breakfast...

what a shitty week to be a republican, eh? this has been one nasty downhill slalom for the gop ever since paul ryan was given the top crotch-sniffer's seat at obama's budget speech.

then trump and the birthers took a fat one in the keister. (we still don't believe!!!!) well that's okay. most of you believe there's a bearded jew in the sky watching everything you do. we don't care what you believe.

and now obama got osama. bam! the trifecta. (but... we still don't believe) we still don't care what you believe. if we did, then we'd have no choice but to round all you little birdies up into cyclone fenced pens and forget about you. you're lucky we don't care.

three weeks ago they thought they were at the Mandalay Bay buffet... now they realize it's just the continental breakfast at the La Quinta.

man, the La Quinta sucks.

Reaction at the White House to the news of Osama bin Laden's death

I didn't believe him, but now we have proof...

I didn't believe Donald Trump when he said he'd suck the president's cock if he was actually born in Hawaii... but sure enough, here he is warming up. What an eager little beaver he is!!!

the secret to Trump's hair revealed!!!!

songs are really just very interesting things to be doing with the air...

"this has been very encouraging..."

it's easy to have mixed feelings about this. on the one hand, it's never a bad thing to be recognized by your peers. an honor is an honor. half of the audience has covered the man's work and made millions of dollars doing so... a point which segues nicely into: well, what took you so fucking long - and - why not just give him a coffin? at least that would have been useful at some point. in a world that celebrates britney spears and john boehner, maybe it would have been a greater honor not to bestow public gratitude upon a man who has spent a lifetime creating some of the finest work that has so rarely been heard outside of the edgiest independent film's final credits. the great tom waits speaks in code. so, just in case you couldn't translate for yourself, "this has been very encouraging..." = "go fuck yourselves with a toilet brush." but tom is entirely too gracious of a man to come right out and say it.

heh... tom waits gets a post and japan doesn't. see? it's a fucked up world, kids.

eating 700 bananas is like living in a concrete, stone or brick house for a year.

Holiday in Cambodia

a couple pals just returned from southeast asia... still choking on jet fumes, they mixed their videos to the dulcet tones of Jello Biafra and co. the result is a rage-inducing jealously that i'll have to live with for the rest of my life.

How to do something good AND tell republicans to fuck off... #NPR

Use congresses stunning show of stupidity as an opportunity to donate to your local NPR: http://www.npr.org/stations/donate/

It would be nice to think of all the free publicity that the GOP is stirring up for NPR in the form of donations... if it were in fact "free" publicity...

But, since it is the taxpayers that pay these buffoons to attack NPR, it's actually public funding... and since this bill will never pass the senate... it's nothing more than publicity.

THANK YOU REPUBLICANS FOR HELPING NPR!!!


...fucking morons

Houses republicans vote to defund educational programming... Republicans Against Thought: SHOCKING! #NPR

Watch Rep. Anthony Weiner mock GOP's bill to defund NPR.

Thankfully, and honestly as this is not a joke, I believe Gaddafi is a bit higher up on the Dead Pool list than @CharlieSheen... although Chuck's doing his best to fix that.

will #TIGERBLOOD and #WINNING trend when @CHARLIESHEEN is found on his back with the white foam spewing from his cold, blue lips?

is antisemitism the new "leaked sex tape" among celebrities?

yes, john... you and hitler would have got on just fabulously...

She was attacking me, though, with a small fork — like a cocktail fork. And she had it with her; that was the weird part. What was she doing with, like, a shrimp fork in her purse? She stole it, clearly. From a buffet.