Saturday, April 10, 2010

Why I Don't Play Golf

My mother came across a golf pro yesterday. For her, this is a byproduct of living in a "golf community". I utilized the quotations because what I really mean is she lives amongst small minded white men that play with dimpled little balls. This shit-tard commented on the Obama sticker she displays in her car window. He said, "How is that change working out for ya?".

For starters, anyone that quotes Sara Palin is clearly a patient of Dr. Freeman's and worthy of a drunk Scot using their knee cap as an ash tray and their back hair as toilet paper. Conservatards don't get to ask that. Thus, I offer the following parable:

A house is on fire. It belongs to the town's mayor. He likes to smoke cigars in bed while he surfs the net and masturbates to Asian child porn. He leaves the house.

The mayor and a towns-person are outside of the house and both try to figure out how to stop it. The mayor suggested they let the wind take care of it, since he uses his breath to put out candles.

Please note that the mayor had stopped funding the fire department because he thought the government should not be getting involved in such matters. Furthermore, he said the science is still out on the relationship between fire and water.

The towns person sees a hose nearby and grabs it. He turns it on and starts spraying the house with the water it produces. The mayor tells him he is wasting his time and that he is only going to make matters worse. He says, "Let the damn wind take care of it!"
The towns person insists that "this is better than nothing."

After a few minutes the towns person was able to get a corner of the house under control, however the mayor was still mocking him. He even asked "Hows that hose working out for ya?"


Laura said...

Uggh! What a jackass!
Why can't people just keep their ignorant thoughts to themselves?

I feel like decking this guy and I don't even know who or where he is! (hmmm.. a clear indication that pms is approaching).

Your Mum should have gone all Elin Woods on his ass. Taken his golf club and smashed his head in with it.

Oh my... I'm tres violent today, aren't I????

Give your Mum a hug from me. She deserves one if she has to live with jackasses like that!


Pierre V. Ross said...

You forgot to mention that an ignorant majority of the town blamed the do-gooder towns person for starting the fire. And they also stood around commenting that the hose wouldn't work. In fact, claimed that hoses in general don't work. Some of the townspeople even tried to stop the towns person from using the hose, tried to physically restrain him!! If I were that towns person, I'd let the fucking house burn, and turn the hose on the townspeople...

Shaw Kenawe said...

I get the same question from my stupid-ass neighbor. I tell him the changey thingey's working just fine. George Bush is out of office and the Democrats are in charge.

It pisses him off.


Phil said...

Get off yer dead fucking ass and put up a new post. It takes less than five fucking minutes and you can nuke a fucking burrito while yer at it.