Thursday, July 15, 2010

we're all going to get so friggin' stoned...

i've always laughed off legalization conversations because 1) marijuana obsessions always seemed pretty childish to me 2) i just didnt' think i'd live long enough to see it. but now this shit looks for-real folks (at least in Oakland, CA). so i started thinking about how silly we're all going to feel once it's been legalized for several years - not how silly we'll feel because we're all going to get so friggin' stoned - but because we made such a big fucking deal out of legalizing weed.

personally, i don't smoke pot very much anymore. the main reason is that i hate buying and owning it. you always have to buy an eighth or a quarter or an ounce... whatever. the quantity issue sucks because i'm literally going to smoke what i have until it's all gone. you see, i have what you'd call an addictive personality i guess. i'd go the store high, i'd show up for classes high, i'd go to work high. if i even bothered to do any of those things...

i think i might have that very same problem with alcohol if i had to buy a keg of beer or a barrel of wine at a time. can you imagine? showing up for every engagement acting like it's the forth quarter of the jets/dolphins game? luckily, they sell booze in bite-size, travel-friendly, live-your-fucking-life quantities. i'd have to go to the ghetto or the local high school to buy anything smaller than an eighth of weed... fuck that.

so i started thinking... if weed is legalized, maybe it will be possible to buy smaller quantities and then otherwise hopeless stoners like myself can control their drug use like big boys and girls. i'd be able to get high AND live-my-fucking-life... what a concept.

an even more interesting concept: how many more people are going to be smoking pot once it's legal? seriously... the streets will be littered with zombies. grandmothers and grandfathers that haven't smoked since the 60s and 70s are going to be all pale and sweaty... eating cookies and brownies... giggling and singing Moody Blues songs... being all naked and woodstocky.


okay, forget that nightmare for a second and think about the political ramifications. more liberally minded perhaps? sure, that's a possibility. but NOBODY is going to remember when or where to vote. and then george bush's cousin's semen gets elected president, nominates lex luther and darth maul to the supreme court, and prohibition resumes.

goddamn you fucking stoner liberals are incompetent.

now, if i can just shake this meth addiction...

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