Sarah Palin is not a politician. She is faux celebrity... like Paris Hilton but with a gun.

The subject of this post says it all. There could be no more truth to this statement. There is gravity, universal suffering, and this fact. And we know this because 56% of the respondents to a recent poll indicated as much.

But, let's face it. This doesn't come anywhere near describing the multi-faceted Palin. She wears many hats. And among those hats is whatever a moose-murdering anti-christ would put on her head. Take that hat, put it on Paris Hilton, hand the beast a shotgun, and you have Sarah Palin.

Nothing here is intended in a figurative sense. This is all literal... and we know this because a whopping 78% of the respondents to a recent poll said so.

Yet there are aspects of Sarah Palin that we've so far failed to represent... and among said aspects is "redundancy". And so, as a tribute to Sarah Palin's ability to say the same two or three things - and little else - for three years straight, we state the painfully obvious: Sarah Palin is Forrest Gump with a gun.

So, take Paris Hilton, put some sort of satanic hunting hear on her head, hand her a shotgun and dial that IQ way down to that of Tom Hanks's representation of a witless country fool... and there you have it. 92% of the respondents to a recent poll said so. It is fact. Like gravity.