Aunt Thomasina: An NFL debacle (Jerry? YES! Condi? NO!)

Condoleezza Rice is a minion of evil.

And she needs to stay the hell away from the NFL. Spending 4 years hiding behind a curtain then 4 years in the spotlight as the relief pitcher in the bullshit World Series [starting rotation: Cheney, Rumsfeld, Ashcroft, Tenet and Bush - Powell lost for the season] does not mean you deserve a job in the NFL. I'm a bigger NFL fan than her and I don't deserve it either. It's great that she is a refined and cultured black woman and the fact that she achieved this position is a symbol of progress in Equality. It would be more commendable if she weren't completely unqualified to do this job. Aside from the fact that her accomplishment is about to get completely overshadowed by someone far greater than her, she was a robotic mouthpiece for the misinformation hate machine. A puppet on a string. A guilty party. Her appointment was not as bad as the joker at FEMA, but she is forever linked to this catastrophic administration. Does that ever wash off?

Plus she has designs on taking over a high-ranking and influential role in NFL. Anybody who has been following the twists and turns of the CBAs knows how delicate the situation is. And she cannot possibly help. I'm okay with the economy being in the shitter and gas being $4, but if you take away my football, I'll go postal. Surely there must be some other organization she could infiltrate and ruin.

Have you hugged your fuck up kid lately?

Somebody hasn't. And if you consider yourself a supremacist, shouldn't you look supreme in some way?

Here is some more unchecked racism at a Palin rally:

Notice that the crowd is more offended by the suggestion that we end up like the oppresive Swedes than the usage of the "N" word.

$150,000 Redneck from a place that goes months without sunlight?

9 Rabid McCain Supporters

He's outfoxed Obama by targeting a demographic that just may be old enough to vote for him before he expires.

Seriously.. how bored are these kids?

8 Day, 5 hours till the first polls close...

Chin up everyone. I am still getting this pending sense of doom permeating from so many, much like an FSU kicker about to try for a game winner against Miami.

We are going to pull this out!

The math is still very much on Obama's side. Remember, many of the undecided voters are probably going to break for McPalin.

Don't fret!

Obama does not need a single one of them. NBC's Chuck Todd estimates that 7/10 undecided voters will break for McPalin. Obama gets to 306 (270 needed) in the E.C. without picking up a single voter, and even if a few states are off, he should have no problem getting to 270.

The facts speak for themselves. The overwhelming majority of leaks and defections that have occurred over the last few weeks come from the McPalin camp. Few, if any, have come from the Obama side. The Obama camp appears poised and together. McPalin's looks confused and disgruntled. If this were Rock-N-Roll, Obama would be a Stone's concert, McPalin would be a Wham cover band playing in a garage somewhere in Alberta.

In my opinion, the following scene from Spinal Tap featuring Duke Fame and the Flame Throwers best articulates the state of the two campaigns:

Crazed female fans shriek.)
David: Uh-oh- look out, here they come....
Derek: Hold your breath.
Fan: Duke! Duke! Can I have your autograph?
Nigel: It's Duke.
David: Duke! Duke!
Terry: Get your hands back.
David: It's OK, we know'm, it's Spinal Tap.
Terry: Sure.
David:
David St Hubbins, Spinal Tap; Derek Smalls, Spinal Tap;
Nigel....
Terry:
Look, we gotta get going here.
David: Listen, uh...uh...where
you playing in
town?
You you playin' here?
Terry: We're doin'
the...uh...Enormodome
whatever it is. It's
terrific, it's a good
house.
We sold it out.
David:
Oh yeah big place outside of town.
Terry:
Very nice.
David: That's a big
place. You sold it out?!
Nigel:
What's that, twenty-thousand seats?
Terry: We really should
run, you know...
Ian: Good heavens. How are you,
laddy?! Great to see
you, Ter!
Terrific to see you.
Terry:
Uhhhhm...Liam!
Ian: Ian.
Ian.
Terry: Ian. Yeah, listen, we'd love to
stand around and chat,
but
we've gotta...sit down in the lobby and wait for
the
limo.
Derek:
OK.
David: OK. Great. Duke, great to see you. Great
to
see you again
Terry.
Derek: We'll catch up with you on the road.
Duke: Cheers.
David: Duke! Great to see you. See ya. See you, Duke. Good
days.
Good days!
Fuckin' wanker.
Nigel: What a wanker.
David:
What
a wanker.
Derek: Total no talent sod.
Nigel:
He's got this much
talent -- this much if he's lucky.
David: We carried
him. We had to
apologize for him with our set.
Derek: That's right.
Mick: That's
right,
yeah.
David: People were still booin' 'im
when we were on.
It's all
hype. It's all hype. It's all bought.

See for yourself:

The pending doom. I addressed it last week. Everyone is losing sight of one item of serious note--and that is proud reality that GWB is about to leave office. If nothing else, keep that in mind when we hit the inevitable bumps of the next few days.

I'll say it again: no terrorist attack on US soil, or no nuke exploding in the next 8 days, Obama wins by 9pm EST.

Also, stay tuned, as I am thinking on that Tuesday of next week to have an E.C. prediction game of some kind....a "blog pool" of sorts.

Happy New Week:

Monday Poster Alert:

Nightmare: McPalin Win!

I am watching a local county commission election, which is very sad as I already voted. In about 2 weeks I think I'm going to take a break from politics, well, as much as I can since I teach this shit for a living.

That being said, please, if you never carry out any of my generally silly or reactionary requests again, give this a read, and do what you can to get the folks you know to vote and vote Obama. Otherwise, we will all be living in a tube.

Thank you, I really appreciate you reading our blog. The depth of your questions is always impressive and inspiring. I feel blessed for your loyalty. If you give me a chance, I will serve you very well in the coming years. I have the right experience and commitment to serve you, our reader. G-d bless you, G-d bless Leon County, and G-d bless America.

Muslims for McCain

I know it sounds like Jews for Jesus, but they're the reasonable ones. In this example at least.

Drive by rant...

Why do the same people that advocate small government want a large military? Palin's handlers are programing her to say that Obama advocates the government taking the people's money and property from them to share with all, and that he wants to use government to take care of us. Keeping to her master's logic--should they wish to be consistent-- then shouldn't we then replace the military with a citizen militia?

Go Dolphins.

The Double Reverse Maverick

Just when you thought it couldn't get any maverickier, it did. Momma Maverick has gone maverick from the Maverick ticket.

The Easily Duped - A Video Archive

These people should be put in the zoo, so I could throw peanuts at them.



Part 2.. Rise of the Uninformed...

What does McCain beat?

Am I the last person to know????

So, the whole thing was a hoax?

Police say a campaign volunteer confessed to making up a story that a mugger attacked her and cut the letter B in her face after seeing her McCain bumper sticker.

What kind of fucking world is this? ...making up a story about a 6 foot 4 black dude pinning you down and carving a 'B' into your face for being a McCain supporter?

Is this the most disgusting form of rascism we've seen this campaign or what?




Dear Ashley Todd,

You fucking asshole. It's understandable that you are upset about the fact that your candidate sucks. You are frustrated that your political party put forward such a pathetic character to represent your beliefs, of which you clearly care deeply about... apparently, to the point of insanity.

But did you have to fulfill every non-Texan's stereotype about the horrific rascism, ignorance, and apparent lunacy of the average Texan (Austin residents excluded)?

Furthermore, are you even aware of the hatefullness that your actions imply? That you'd fictionalize such a horrific act despite having to endure self-mutilation to accomplish your ruse?

This is futile... I don't have the ability to craft a letter that could possibly express my frustration.

I hope that you have plenty of time in jail with plenty of nice incarcirated African-American women that can explain the folly of your actions to you.

Best of luck douchebag.

Do it for the Fonze

Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Don't you understand, your brain is clay and I gotta SQUEEZE it!

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

I'm never quite sure how effective these ads are, but hey, he is the Fonze, and he still cooler than you....