tiger woods ya'll, it's all good ya'll

oh, Tiger... where to start. we are just so disapointed in you. how could you do this to us? how many years have we watched you? we're all so completed invested in your story. can we count all the ways in which you satisfy our collective value system?

clean-cut.
hard-working.
successful.
multi-racial.
but not too ethnic.
athletic.
but not too ethnic.
rich.
smart enough not to attempt a career in rap.


dirty, cheating, shirt-tucking whore.

we got what we came for. carry on.