Wednesday, August 11, 2010

reality television blows............ my frickin' mind!!!!

reality television is the brain laser that ate captain kirk's mind in "Dagger of the Mind" (season 1, TOS). my wife watches this nonsense... and how many times have i quickly skirted through the room to avoid the crippling affects of the brain laser? countless times i assure you.

i guess it started with our semi-talented next-door-neighbors singing in front of paula abdul and quickly degenerated into smutty teenagers drinking recklessly in aruba or jamaica. the reality craze seems to have reached it's apex as we excitedly watch hopeless hoarders try dig themselves out of their cluttered living rooms, fatties on treadmills, and countless individuals plagued by various psychological and physical ailments that make us feel better about ourselves.

that is what it's all about isn't it? pity?

we love to pity people. we constantly "feel so bad" for somebody and "wish we could help" while really just saddling others with the title of their affliction to point out whatever is wrong with them that we are lucky or skillful enough to avoid.

i suppose there is some true empathy in this world... but really, how much???

i've always thought that this is where reality tv fits into our collective psyche. we no longer have to pity our neighbors, in-laws, cousins, sisters, best friends, bosses, baristas, bassists, barbers and bert blyleven... we can feel bad for anonymous idiots that are neither celebrities nor politicians (neither of the likes, by the way, deserve a shred of pity - let alone empathy)

but then again...

the gods of reality television have brought me this lovely ray of hope in an otherwise desolate entertainment landscape:

the frickin jets on reality television??? i get to watch sanchez and ryan and bart scott and not darrelle revis doing all the stuff that i would otherwise have to sit alone in my room imagining late at night in front of a ouiji board? i can watch the friendly prodding and fraternal banter that naturally occurs among behemoth millionaire athletes? for $14 frickin dollars a month??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

i can totally see the vision of reality teevee now. i get it. and i am so staying up past 10pm to watch hard knocks tonight while my judgmental wife smugly rolls her eyes and quickly evacuates the room lest she become a meat headed, knuckle-dragging mook like her husband.

that is all.


Pierre V. Ross said...

i think you should change your name to meat headed knuckle-dragging mook

puddy said...

after tonight i might have to... i'll be a sweaty, drooling mass of green and white chanting J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS!!!!