Friday, September 3, 2010

No need to panic. I'll just lash together a few raw facts, a little bit of Negro wisdom, and this nightmare is over.

my favorite quote of the day (so far) comes from paul krugman:

if [Obama] came out for motherhood, the G.O.P. would declare motherhood un-American.

krugman's been sitting on this piece for almost two years. it's mostly an i told you so story with a plea to obama to go long on his socialist economic directives initiatives next week.

if krugman's wishes come true then i like this strategy from the white house... send an entire fleet out to rescue the s.s. minnow - let gilligan and his crew refuse the lifeline just in time for an election-day sprint.

fart smella that obama, eh?

(and yes, i know it was the skipper's crew not gilligan's - but with glenn beck playing gilligan to newt's skipper, it all makes sense)

intermission (this one's for the ladies:)

(feel the waves of titillation wash over you as paul makes love to you with those dreamy eyes. run your fingers through his ample mop-top, british invasion, looks-like-a-wig-but-really-isn't-thingy on top of his head. hear the rustling of small forest creatures living inside that thing on his face...)

...and we're back...

so, some of the folks over at fox news, the crafty little cockroaches, are on to barry's scheme:

...the actual package, when announced will include some spending to placate unions and liberals who believe that the Obama stimulus was, in fact, too small...

The hope among Democrats, though, is that they can ultimately get Republicans to oppose the plan...

i know i shouldn't still be bothered by this shit... but i am.

there is a scene in where the buffalo roam in which hunter s. thompson (as excellently depicted by bill murray) puts a random piece of newsprint into a fax machine (there, chew on that gibberish for awhile, you heartless scum!)

turn off the tv's folks, board up the windows and doors, cause we're on the receiving end - analyzing the shit out of that trash for the entire upcoming week.

have a nice labor day. unless you're unemployed in which case it will just be another laborless day for you.

as for me, its in-law season and i'm setting the controls for the heart of the sun. i'm headed to the bad lands of northern florida. a short seven-hour jaunt south to see if we can't rustle up some gator meat and bask in the cancerous rays of a state's sun that seems to bring out the serial killer in a statistically significant number of it's citizens. nothing's legal in florida... yet... if the shit's gonna hit the fan, the fan is usually in the 27th state of our union.

wish me luck.

hell, wish us all luck.


Shaw Kenawe said...

Oh shyte! You found me out! I have a picture of hunky Paul taped to the wall over my bed. I touch his wonderously gorgeous face each night before I enter Morpheus' world and dream of a place where reason, intelligence and legalized petunia reigns supreme.

Alas, I wake to reality: A nation that believes a sozzled asshat, who looks to Canada geese for miracles, as he writes gibberish and nincompooery on his blackboard.

Randal Graves said...

He's going to bail out an even bigger bank, the bank of the United Federation of Planets.