Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Sidenote

We love finding out how people came to find our blog, so we set up a tracker which lets us know who you are and what you typed on your keyboard to get here. Sometimes get playful with how we title posts on this blog. I would like to give a big "Fuck You" to the scumbag from Cairo who googled "Children fuking movies" and ended up at this recent post. Please drink a gallon of bleach.

Ann Coulter on the View:

For those that have not seen this, it is worth a few minutes of your time. I really think she is all schtick:


Tuesday, January 13, 2009

An Email Thread...

I got the following toon passed on to me in an email this morning. Judging from the amount of FWDs in the subject, I assume this has been passed around as much as Clara, who is Mariano Rivera's wife. The email simply shows the toon with the caption "pass it on" sprinkled at the bottom. Here it is:


The implication, for those too tired or lazy to think, is that Israel does what it does to protect its children, whereas the Palestinians of Gaza do what they do by harming as many children as possible. While I find this portrayal to be a grossly underestimated summary of whats going on over there, I can't help but see that there exists some truth to the matter.

Israel could eliminate Hamas by bombing Gaza back to the stone ages....err, further back into the stone ages. Israel does put their own at risk in an attempt to save civilian lives, which is horribly difficult to do when rockets are being fired from civilian packed apartment dwellings and hospitals. 

Does this justify Israel's "out of whack" death count? In a way, it does. Remember, Israel is still a mostly secular state. More importantly, the Israeli government, being democratically elected, reflects this reality. Anyone who says this is a war of relgion is missing the entire point. This is, at its core, a dispute about land, but now I am off point...

Hamas is able to successfully sell religious extremism because the people of Gaza have nothing else left to buy. Whats left for a broken people to long for? So Hamas does not mind killing the young in the same way those that enlist child solders in Sri Lanka and Uganda care more about there cause then their young. 

I have always felt that a unwavering belief in eternal salvation reduces the experience of life to time spent in a waiting room. What is a government supposed to do when a group like that is firing rockets, day in and day out, into your people's living room?

So, where am I going with all of this? Maybe nowhere, but isn't that the point? I am writing about Israel/Palestine after all, and is there really anything left to write about it that's both coherent and honest?  



Monday, January 12, 2009

Biggest Ego since Ty Cobb makes it to the Hall

Kudos to Jim Rice who made into the Baseball Hall of Fame in his final year of eligibility. He was one of the most feared hitters of the 70s.

The rest of this post is devoted to Rickey Williams who never saw a mirror he didn't like. He loved himself so much he referred to himself in the third person constantly. He was lethal when it came to stealing bases and brilliant at providing soundbites. Some classics (compiled by Silock of ChiefsPlanet.com):
1)"Listen, people are always saying, ‘Rickey says Rickey.’ But it’s been blown way out of proportion. People might catch me, when they know I’m ticked off, saying, ‘Rickey, what the heck are you doing, Rickey?’ They say, ‘Darn, Rickey, what are you sayin)g Rickey for? Why don’t you just say, ‘I?’ But I never did. I always said, ‘Rickey,’ and it became something for people to joke about.”
2) In the early 1980s, the Oakland A’s accounting department was freaking out. The books were off $1 million. After an investigation, it was determined Rickey was the reason why. The GM asked him about a $1 million bonus he had received and Rickey said instead of cashing it, he framed it and hung it on a wall at his house.
3) In 1996, Henderson’s first season with San Diego, he boarded the team bus and was looking for a seat. Steve Finley said, “You have tenure, sit wherever you want.” Henderson looked at Finley and said, “Ten years? Ricky’s been playing at least 16, 17 years.”
4) This one might be my second favorite. This wasn’t too long ago, I think it was the year he ended up playing with the Red Sox. Anyway, he called San Diego GM Kevin Towers and left the following message: “This is Rickey calling on behalf of Rickey. Rickey wants to play baseball.”
5) This one happened in Seattle. Rickey struck out and as the next batter was walking past him, he heard Henderson say, “Don’t worry, Rickey, you’re still the best.”
6) Rickey once asked a teammate how long it would take him to drive to the Dominican Republic.
7) Moments after breaking Lou Brock’s stolen base record, Henderson told the crowd – with Brock mere feet next to him – “Lou Brock was a great base stealer, but today, I am the greatest of all-time.”
8) Henderson once fell asleep on an ice pack and got frostbite – which forced him to miss three games — in mid-August.
9) A reporter asked Henderson if Ken Caminiti’s estimate that 50 percent of Major League players were taking steroids was accurate. His response was, “Well, Rickey’s not one of them, so that’s 49 percent right there.”
10) Henderson broke Ty Cobb’s career record for runs scored with a home run. After taking his usual 45 seconds or so around the bases, Rickey slid into home plate.
11) On being Nolan Ryan’s 5,000th career strikeout: “It gave me no chance. He (Ryan) just blew it by me. But it’s an honor. I’ll have another paragraph in all the baseball books. I’m already in the books three or four times.”
12) San Diego GM Kevin Towers was trying to contact Rickey at a nearby hotel. He knew Henderson always used fake names to avoid the press, fans, etc. He was trying to think like Rickey and after several attempts; he was able to get Henderson on the phone.Rickey had checked in under Richard Pryor.
13) I didn’t believe this one at first. However, I emailed a few contacts within the Sox organization and they claim it actually happened. This is priceless, it really is.The morning after the Sox finished off the sweep against St. Louis last October, Henderson called someone in the organization looking for tickets to Game 6 at Fenway Park.
14) The Mets were staying in a hotel less than a mile from Cinergy Field in Cincinnati. While some players walked, most took the team bus. A few minutes after they arrived — again it was less than a mile – the last players off the bus noticed a stretched limo that had just pulled up.Of course, Rickey emerged from the back seat.
15) A reporter once asked Rickey if he talked to himself, “Do I talk to myself? No, I just remind myself of what I’m trying to do. You know, I never answer myself so how can I be talking to myself?”
16) OK, I know everyone has been waiting for it. Alas, according to both parties involved, it’s not true. I wish it were. Heck, both Rickey Henderson and John Olerud have said they wish it were true. But it just didn’t happen.The story went that a few weeks into Henderson’s stint with the Mariners, he walked up to Olerud at the batting cage and asked him why he wore a batting helmet in the field. Olerud explained that he had an aneurysm at nine years old and he wore the helmet for protection. Legend goes that Henderson said, “Yeah, I used to play with a guy that had the same thing.”Legend also goes that Olerud said, “That was me, Rickey.”Henderson played with Olerud on the Blue Jays and the Mets.
17) Rickey was asked if he had the Garth Brooks album with Friends in Low Places and Henderson said, “Rickey doesn’t have albums. Rickey has CDs.”
18) During a contract holdout with Oakland in the early 1990s, Henderson said, “If they want to pay me like Mike Gallego, I’ll play like Gallego.”
19) In the late 1980s, the Yankees sent Henderson a six-figure bonus check. After a few months passed, an internal audit revealed the check had not been cashed. Current Yankees GM Brian Cashman – then a low-level nobody with the organization – called Rickey and asked if there was a problem with the check. Henderson said, “I’m just waiting for the money market rates to go up.”
20) In June 1999, when Henderson was playing with the Mets, he saw reporters running around the clubhouse before a game. He asked a teammate what was going on and he was told that Tom Robson, the team’s hitting coach, had just been fired. Henderson said, “Who’s he?”
21) This is my all-time favorite. Rickey was pulled over by a San Diego police officer for speeding. As the officer was approaching Rickey’s car, the window went down a few inches and a folded $100 bill emerged. The officer let Rickey and his money head home without a ticket.
22) When he was on the Yankees in the mid-1980s, Henderson told teammates that his condo had such a great view that he could see, “The Entire State Building.”
23) During one of his stays with Oakland, Henderson’s locker was next to Billy Beane’s. After making the team out of spring training, Beane was sent to the minors after a few months. Upon his return, about six weeks later, Henderson looked at Beane and said, “Hey, man, where have you been? Haven’t seen you in awhile.”
24) To this day and dating back 25 years, before every game he plays, Henderson stands completely naked in front of a full length locker room mirror and says, “Ricky’s the best,” for several minutes.
25) In the last week of his lone season with the Red Sox, Chairman Tom Werner asked Henderson what he would like for his ‘going-away’ gift. Henderson said he wasn’t going anywhere, but he would like owner John Henry’s Mercedes. Werner said it would be tough to get the same make and model in less than a week and Henderson said, “No, I want his car.” Turns out the Sox got Henderson a Red Thunderbird and when he saw it on the field before the last game of the season, Rickey said, “Whose ugly car is on the field?”

Rickey made Deion Sanders look humble. He'll probably want a solid gold bust in Cooperstown to compliment his standard of play.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

You can't make this up

So a convicted sex offender in Alaska won $500,000 in a raffle that raised money for the victims of sexual abuse. I recommend watching the video in this link for the full nauseating effect. I have been slammed on this blog before by my colleagues who feel my anti-liberal stance on what should be done with convicted sex offenders is too harsh. But this is a slap in the face.

How we got here..



Or like this, depending on what you're talking about..

Whats so funny....

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Friday, January 9, 2009

The Truth Is Out There

I don't know much about galactic emissions, radio waves and what things are capable of actually making noise in the vast vaccuum of space, but the people at the American Astronomical Society do and some strange shit is afoot. Or at least it was and we are just now hearing it from light years away. A weather balloon launched years ago to study the radio waves present in the early generations of stars was drowned out by a noise six times greater than anything they were expecting to hear. A deafening roar is ripping through the universe created by lord knows what. There is a ton of documentation on this event that you can find by checking out the commentary and research documents collected here. While there is wild speculation as to what magnetic fields or black hole could have generated enough radiation to create such a racket, I have my own suspicions...

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Blow'Reilly on the return of Palin

Ya know how to tell if you are part of the right wing conspiracy? You use deliberately pointed buzzwords like "flip flopper" and today's nugget "guttersnipes," which only serve the purpose of smearing or defiling someone or something. And God help you if you use these words in your everday lexicon and expect people not to think you are a spoonfed sheep who can't even read a newspaper without having someone (like Captain No Spin) to translate it.

One of my favorite lines..

..from the movie "Heat" is taken from the dialogue between DeNiro and Pacino that sets the stage for the finale. DeNiro, the bank robber, is explaining to Pacino, the cop, that he will not go down quietly if the fuzz interferes with what should be the final heist of his career. DeNiro's character has avoided capture because his wisdom is equal to his bravado and mockingly asks Pacino, "Do you see me doing thrill-seeker liquor store holdups with a "Born to Lose" tattoo on my chest?"

Well this guy is no Bobby D.

The train wreck that never ends

There's so much here, I don't know where to begin. While her supporters will look at this as Mama Grizzly fighting back at the "gotcha media" and Tina Fey (not to mention those darn anonymous bloggers), I think this is further evidence that Sarah Palin is a know-nothing twat. This is conservative propaganda at it's maverickiest.

Are Islamic radicals really this dumb?

I'm no expert on lovemaking in the muslim world, but I am guessing Ayman al-Zawahiri has a problem with premature ejaculation. In his latest attempt to round up the gullible and willing to die for the favor of Allah, he is outright blaming Barack Obama for the escalation of violence in the Gaza Strip. W has been the posterboy for the recruiting of suicide bombers and other would-be mujahadeen for the past 8 years, and al-Zawahiri wants to get the first punch in on the new guy, I suppose. The only problem is, Obama has as much executive power right now as Hannah Montana. Is the muslim world really supposed to accept the notion that Obama "kills [their] brothers and sisters in Gaza mercilessly and without affection?" That's a little over the top for a guy who is still a couple weeks from assuming power, no? If this line of manure is really working, al-Zawahiri should get out of the jihad business and open up a car dealership. I mean, if all it takes to get these people to swallow these lines is to talk loudly and wave your finger (as he does in 80% of photos ever taken of him), there has to be a safer line of work than terrorism. I get that he wants to get a dig in on Egypt (his homeland which had previously jailed him), but this attempt is pretty weak overall.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Boo Fucking Hoo

If you think this guy looks smart, you're wrong. He is a complete moron. His name is Adolf Merckle. He was born into money and expanded his family empire by transforming his grandfather's chemical company into one of the largest pharmaceutical companies in Europe. He raised four kids and lived a relatively quiet life with pretty much anything he ever needed at his fingertips. Herr Merckle got his lederhosen in a twist due to the failing economy when he saw his net worth drop a couple billion dollars in the last year, leaving him with a paltry 7 or 8 billion. So he threw himself in front of a train and killed himself. Um... if you can afford to buy Manchester United, the New York Yankees and the Los Angeles Lakers and you still consider yourself to be a failure, you need to get a fucking hobby. A puppy would probably suffice too. This is the same backwards train of thinking that doomed Enron execs who were so bored with all their money they tried to measure their dicks by acquiring rare artwork and fast cars. Greed is good unless it robs you of all common sense and happiness. Loosen the tie and find new friends. Or find Jesus. But don't insult hard working people everywhere who are barely scraping by in this economic debacle by taking such a drastic action when you've had every luxury life could possibly afford you. Douchebag.

A Man, a Woman and a Rabbi walk into a bar...

I was planning on writing a story about the situation in Gaza Strip. As a member of the "peace camp" I am usually outraged at Israel around this point in a conflict with everyone involved. For some strange reason I am thinking Israel is doing what needs to be done at this point. Are they over reacting? Its hard to say. On paper, of course they are. They are well equipped and fighting an enemy that is launching decades old rockets with sling shots. But those rockets are hitting homes and hospitals and schools. And the governments of the Arab world want Israel to succeed despite their rhetoric. They fear Iranian influence far more than Israeli aggression. Sadly they have used Israel as a whipping boy to deflect they way they are oppressing their people (see Egypt, Syria, etc) but make no mistake, a weak Hamas means a weaker Iran.

Hamas are scum. They purposely target civilians and hide missile launchers in densely populated apartment dwellings. What is Israel to do?

End the Occupation? Sure, I am all for it. But how? Give Hamas a state that is built on an allegiance to Israeli destruction? Anyone on the left that honestly feels that is a viable solution to anything is blinded by a lust to oppose anyone aligned with the United States, even when the cost is your principles.

For some reason it reminds me of the scene in Malcolm X when the young lady approaches Denzel and says "What can a nice white person for me do to help your cause?"

But enough about chickens and eggs. There is a transgender rabbi to be delt with:

When Elliot Kukla, a Reform rabbi, came out as transgender six months before his
ordination in 2006, he never imagined how openly the Jewish community would be
addressing transgender issues just three years later. This month, he is poised
to address a West Coast regional conference of Reform rabbis on the subject, and
even the elderly Jews that he works with in the Bay Area are largely accepting
of his identity. "I'm so amazed at the old ladies who will turn to their friends
and say, 'Did you meet the nice, young transgender rabbi?'" Kukla said. "Some of
that is San Francisco, but that conversation would never have happened a few
years ago."


I really hope we can get past sexuality politics in the future, but this is a start. I am glad Kukla is being accepted. Mozel Tov.