Fox Cuts E.D. Hill's Show

As many of you are by now aware, Fox's E.D. Hill recently suggested that Barack and Michelle Obama's "fist bump" last Tuesday might have been a "terrorist fist jab." This stirred the ire of hipsters, suburban youth, and people of thought everywhere, the later group most upset that she ever got a job anywhere to begin with. Just the very possibility of her existence, let alone employability, serves as a painful verification that some terrible wind is currently blowing through the national skies. And make no mistake, I am not just upset that she got a job doing "news", rather, I am angry that she was able to get a job at all. She should be a drain on our economy. She should be a third wife living somewhere in the desert with some messiah racing dirt bikes, deluded by thoughts that they're trapped in the movie Tron...But I digress...

Earlier today, Ms. Hill issued the following statement:

Then a few hours later, her show got canceled. This is a small victory for thought itself and I am happy about it. I am not sure if there will be any long term benefit of her departure, as I am sure they will replace her with a comparable model, but I will take it, for every victory should be cherished in an election year...