Monday, February 23, 2009

Being Glenn Beck

So Glenn Beck wrote an article that pissed me off because he's basically calling the government solution to a problem he publically endorsed "socialism." And the whole time, he had the STUPID look on his face.

Instead of ripping his article, I thought I'd take a look at the guy behind the guy. So I went here.

And I finally understood. He knows he sucks. He's a suckup who knows how lucky he's got it. He is completely full of shit:

What is the best advice you have ever received?
Understand the power of "I AM", and you’ll accomplish all that you think.

What the shit? I have some different advice for you, Glenn. His sense of humor could be described as robotic. Almost forced. Unnatural. Is dead fish an adjective? And beyond that, he has NO imagination.

If you could invite any three people (dead or alive) to dinner, who would they be?
Jesus, a really good cook and my wife (only because if I didn’t, I’d never hear the end of it).

I've heard that question asked a hundred times and this is by far the worst answer I've ever heard. Jesus. A cook. And I suppose my wife (out of guilt)? First off, isn't it assumed there'd be a cook anyway? Is there a need to include him? Or is he trying to find the ABSOLUTE safest response to a softball question. I think your wife would understand if maybe you wanted Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Or Jesus, her and Mickey Mantle (although Mickey'd be half in the bag by the time the entree arrived). I mean the options are limitless which such a question. And that's it? Way to bring it home, Glenn.

So.. I get it. It makes total sense. I don't like him because he is a tool.


Randal Graves said...

I've always been curious as to the type of lunatic and/or meth addict who would willingly marry a douchebag such as Beck. There has to have been some childhood trauma for the chick.

Comrade Kevin said...

He is a recovered alcoholic poser. Period.

Unknown said...

Hi, I created the image of Glenn Beck as a pig. I now publish under the moniker :DonkeyHotey.” I have a new version of the Glenn Beck image available here. In any case can you link the image to this flickr page: