Wednesday, August 13, 2008

John McCain Will Not Be Happy Unless We All Die


John McCain wants us all dead. How else can one explain his fanatical declaration that he wants to restart the cold war with Russia? In his mind, his hero Ronny ended the Cold War, and he wants to start it back up.

Granted, Russia was far too heavy handed in its response to Georgia, but, as our resident Commie sympathizer Hanoi Jake pointed out earlier, they were very much provoked by Georgia and the actions of the West.

Now McCain wants us to isolate Russia, which of course is the very sort of policy path that got us here. We need to engage Russia, and Sec. Rice, who made a living off of the Cold War, and McCains of her elk have a blood lust for war with Russia, Islam, and humanity itself.

Obama should simply run ads between now and November that state "McCain will not rest until you and those you love are either dead, broke or both. George Bush started this policy, and McCain intends to finish it. I'm Barack Obama and I approve this message because I don't want to kill you."

Even the racist scum that would never vote for a black man would have to when its laid on the line like that, right?

Hell, in places like West Virginia we could take both names off the ballot and just ask voters to answer the following question: Would you rather get killed by an old white guy or prosper under the leadership of a black president?

Would the Electoral College polls look any different if it were spread that way?

In my opinion, if McCain wins, he will spare the super wealthy, at least at first. Then he will put high dosages of Clomiphene citrate in the water supply so that he can quickly repopulate whats left of our once proud species. Then, on his one-hundredth birthday (3 years from now), he will set off some cryptic doomsday device (a gift from Cheney) and go off to the next life in flames.

Ozzy was right, there is no rest for the wicked...

And thus, I offer the following mantra, to be repeated daily in conjunction with your exercises:

A vote for McCain is a vote for death!
A vote for McCain is a vote for Abba!
A vote for McCain is Suicide!
Don't vote McCain- Racism Kills!

Say it 10 times fast.

adiós mamones...

11 comments:

Dick Tremayne said...

You had me at John McCain will not be happy unless we all die.

Sal Kilmister said...

Not to sound, wellm you know.... but Dick rules.

puddy said...

fear not! you don't sound wellm at all.

Sal Kilmister said...

sorry for the "m" at the end of "well" Kreplech. The Jets still suck....

puddy said...

?

Sal Kilmister said...

Kreplech- If McCain wins, this will all be the least of our problems. Знаете ли вы, где вы находитесь? Ваш в Jungle младенец. Ваш умрет.

Hanoi Jake said...

Don't taunt the tiger. Just like you don't taunt Axel.

Randal Graves said...

Frankly, the ABBA thing is what scares me the most.

HelenWheels said...

I heart that graphic!! Holy shit...

alzaido alzaido said...

Frankly, the Abba thing in the only thing that soothes me.

Bradda said...

al, your a weird dude!