Thursday, September 11, 2008

Who Wants to be a Monarch?

I just awoke from a horrifying dream that John McCain won this election. This was bad enough, but then Sen. Obama ran off to Europe with my wife, dog, and mp3 player. The entire experience was obviously depressing, revealing and strange. I have read Freud's Interpretation of Dreams and been thinking about what he might say about all of this for the last hour. Nightmares are generally born, he would probably say, out of the insecurities found in our subconscious. I thought about what I am most insecure about, and made a check list in my head. I am not insecure about my marriage, my puppy, or my mp3 player (though I did just have to look around for it). Then I deduced that I must be more frightened about this election than I let on--even to myself.

This Palin thing has gotten inside my head. She has exposed--once again--the total failure of the American political system. Our media is broken. Our electorate is uneducated and thus easily mislead, much like a hungry puppy fixated on a table scrap. We like to vote for the person "most like us" than we do on the basis of "who will best lead us" and, as Bobby Bowden said at half time of the FSU- Kentuky game regarding a player being penalized for excessive celebration,"that's just crap."

Joe Biden was right--Hillary Clinton would have been a better choice then he for the VP nod. Politically, that is very true. However, Obama's calculus placed a higher value on who he would best govern with as opposed to who would best give him the opportunity to govern, ie, who would best help him win. Clinton is painfully qualified for the position, however their personalities and her husband might have made for a chaotic and ineffective White House. So he did what he thought was best, he picked an older white dude with foreign policy experience and Pennsylvania roots.

McCain on the other hand picked a bright shinny object without distinction, substance or tangible intelligence that makes many Americans comfortable because they see those qualities in themselves. This is what these Americans want, someone like Bush, or Bush with lipstick. Someone common, someone like them.

The representative democratic model is brilliant, but in order for it to work the electorate has to be brilliant. When you put common people in leadership roles, you end up with a broken system. And make no mistake, our system is not broken, we are. We, as a whole, hate to read, think in the abstract, and are incapable of caring about anything beyond our noses. This is why for so many, voting is either an afterthought (if ever a thought at all) or a chore. We want people to pander to us, as opposed to leading us, and that is a recipe for a crude and ineffective governance.

So I propose we return to a hereditary monarchy for 5 generations and then reinstall our current system. We could select our new king through a reality show and call it "Who Wants to be a Monarch?!?" Oh wait, so many don't know what a Monarch is.....Then we should call it "Who Wants to be a King?!?" But that's sexist, so "Who Wants to be a King/Queen?!?" Ya, that's fair!

We can get 20 contestants and have them live in a house and vote one off each week. The winner, selected during Sweeps Week, will get to rule us. Good luck!


Randal Graves said...

And make no mistake, our system is not broken, we are.

I agree that we're broken, but those supposed geniuses should have taken into account that the average knucklehead is indeed a knucklehead.

It's like having a mathematical formula for some kind of structure. Sure, as long as winds never reach 75mph, the thing will hold. ;-)

Which is why I fully support your idea.

DivaJood said...

I could play but I think I have an advantage being a Diva and all.

alzaido alzaido said...

"Who Wants to be a King?!?" But that's sexist, so "Who Wants to be a King/Queen?

Sal, you sexist pig! You put King before Queen in King/Queen.